Dear Mother-to-Be


Dear Mother-to-be,

Four times I have been pregnant. Four times I carried a child nine months inside my body. And four times I had a c-section. I did not plan the pregnancies, nor could I control the outcome, but I was eager to become a mom. During each pregnancy I looked forward to the routine sonograms to watch the beating heart, tiny arms and legs kicking and punching, and even the occasional thumb-sucking. During the waiting and anticipation I really didn’t like surprises, as any woman understands. Maybe your pregnancy was a surprise, or maybe there was a surprise in the sonogram.

You may have just discovered that there is something wrong with your pre-born baby through a sonogram or blood test. Whenever you receive such news it isn’t easy to understand and the shock will resonate for a long time. It is difficult to accept….how could this be possible? What went wrong? Whose fault is this? That “something wrong” really means that there is something your child has that will make them very different from other children. Five months into one of my pregnancies I learned that something was very different. My genetic counselor offered abortion as a perfectly normal choice. Abortion had never crossed my mind, but now I understood the choice that women must make. One must consciously and unselfishly choose to keep the baby, and even pray that the baby survives the pregnancy. No one wants to be called selfish, after all, we all have rights….? It is no easy decision to sacrifice our plans, our money, our lifestyle, our career, our time, or our comfort to accept something different into our lives. You will forever be walking down a different path, and what is normal for others will not be for you.

Please understand the doctors and genetic counselors are simply doing their job, but they cannot possibly, accurately predict the outcome of any single pregnancy nor the degree of challenges your child will face. Sonograms and lab tests should not be relied on for making a decision regarding the life of your child. It is your child.

I am glad I did not have an abortion. I cannot imagine life without my beautiful daughter. Regardless of how many doctor visits, medical tests, treatments, difficulties, and emotional trauma that we have been through, she has made this world a better place. She is a normal girl with an extraordinary intelligence, endless affection, and passionate personality. Really….abortion a normal choice???? Consider what you might be missing if you choose to end the baby’s life.

Sincerely,
A Mom full of joy and peace